Updated: Apr 15, 2021
Austin, TX 2020 - When Robby B and his friends decided things needed to change, they did not rest upon their laurels. Donning class appropriate armor and weapons, they sent a demand that the government stand down or be annihilated. Then they marched to the capital.
Despite a large array of armed militias, cowboys, and the national guard, the assembled ranks were no match for the rambunctious group of LVL 50 Gamers.
"Their builds were pathetic, their point buys just a mess, and they didn't even think to bring any magic users," Kevin D told this reporter as he basked in a tremendous hot tub filled with nubile supermodels, surrounded by the picturesque fornications of the old government chapel building. "We all simply shielded ourselves from missile attacks, cast a few iterations of stone scale, drank a potion of heroic brew, and launched ourselves into the mess. After first softening them up with some flaming balls spells, of course," he added.
"Sealing the governor and its entire legislative branch into a single soul gem and then binding them to our pleasure was the easy part," Robby B elated. "The hard part is going to be sinking the state beneath the land upon which it sits, creating a multi-level dungeon suitable to all ages 18+, and convincing Texans that being a loner who sits at home guarding loot all day is a great thing to do."
"That's pretty much all I do anyways," said resident David K, patting his impressive hoard. "Do I get to be a dragon? I better get to be a dragon."
Others have praised the boon to the economy, whose unemployment rate shot to zero percent as the production of training rooms, hatcheries, torture chambers, graveyard recruiting centers and traps sky-rocketed.
"All hail LitRPG," cried an assembled mob of rag-wearing citizens surrounded by orc and goblin spearmen. "LitRPG forever!"
"No idle hands in these dungeons," Robby B smiled, patting his soul gem. "Not for us living folk, anyways."
This was Damien Hanson, reporting.
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